Due to last month’s success in my top ten things I love right now (and by success I mean I really enjoyed writing it) I have decided to post my new favorite things along with my ten things I totally hate right now. Start with the bad, and end on the good. Here we go.
The Ten Things That Totally Suck Right Now
1. Black Eyes on the Pigs on the game Angry Birds. – There is no way that prior to death those green heads get mere black eyes. Hey pig, if I hit you with a super speedy yellow bird and then a cement block falls on you, bitch, you better be dead and not instead have some punk ass black eye.
2. Repeats on TV mixed with New Episodes. – I am still an advocate of Must See TV on Thursday nights on NBC, and it really busts my chops when I plan to sit down for three hours straight only to discover that only two half hour chunks are add ons to my beloved series and the rest are things I already know happened. Either every episode should be a repeat so I can go out on a Thursday night or all should be new so I don’t have to stand and sit and stand and sit… you get the idea.
3. No One Even Noticed My April Fools Preggo Pic I Put Up on Facebook. – Seriously I was pregnant for a whole day and NO comments? Not even a “you’re not pregnant, nice try!” Does no one look at my profile ever? Or do people think I got fat?
4. The Food Selection at Starbucks. – I know it’s a coffee chain, but I spend so much time there that it would be awesome if randomly it had a really good breakfast burrito or nachos or something. If not just to humor me.
5. When the El Goes Express – two stops away from my house. Forcing me to get off and wait for another train to go a pathetic two stops from my house. Instead of just waiting two stops so I can get to my house and THEN go express. Of course, that would probably make someone else have to get off a mere two stops from their house so maybe the el should just never go express ever.
6. Buffering – Any time, any place.
7. My Dryer in My Apartment Building. – I think it’s new name should be “KindaStillWet-er”
8. Chin Zits. – my teens are far behind me, and I wash my face every day with toner and moisturizer. Bite me chin zits.
9. 30 degrees in April. – I have so many cute Spring jackets that I don’t get to wear because I haven’t packed away my winter coats yet.
10. Tsunamis.
Alas – there are still the
Ten Things That I Am Loving Right Now!
1. Sleep. – It’s relaxing! It’s comfortable! It’s healthy! It’s free! I’m gonna go do it as soon as I’m done with this blog!
2. Buying Clothes at Target. – A special treat and a special trek for living south side Chicago. Considering I never shop for clothes anymore, I was able to get a whole new line of audition clothes for under 100 bucks. I also fit in a a Target size small and was able to grab some soy milk on my way out too. Bomb. Diggity.
3. Stefan on SNL’s Weekend Update. – ““New York’s hottest new club is Slash! This place has everything; glass, steam, bear-traps, and just when you think the fun is over, knock knock, who’s there? it’s black George Washington. All of that in a party room filled with human bath mats.”
“What are human bathmats?”
“It’s that thing when, like, midgets have dreadlocks and they lay face down on the floor.”
4. Our troupes preventing a massacre on Libya. – Debate as we will on whether or not it’s about oil, Libya could’ve easily been another Rwanda. I’m not for starting a war, but I’m all for preventing mass casualties on innocent citizens. Anyway, HOW ABOUT THAT ROYAL WEDDING?
5. Trivia at Mullens – For the past eight weeks, I have attended bar trivia with my writing class under the name Uncle Jizz. We were a dynasty. Never had I been more proud to know that Young Simba and Old Simba were voiced by JTT and Matthew Broderick, or to know that the clues 1981, Washington, and Jodie Foster were all in relation to the Reagan shootings. It was a fight to the bitter end, winning week after week until the final trivia night, where we lost by three points to a team named “My Uncle Jizz Is Bigger Than Yours.” Apparently people came to take us down, and it was as if losing showed us that we mattered. Uncle Jizz Forever.
6. Free Internet at Starbucks. – Sure they don’t have nachos, but boy is it awesome when I can get all my writing done by plopping down at any corner in the Chicago City for four hours.
7. Rufus Wainwright’s Cover of Hallelujah. – Such a somber song, and simple lyrics. Minor fall and major lifts tug at my heartstrings.
8. A Good Nose Blow. – I don’t get a stuffy nose that often, but it is such a nice tension and release to get an allergy clog out onto a tissue and finally breath. Yummy visual, huh?
9. The Window at the Bridal Shop off the Chicago Brown Line Stop. – When I have to be on a train at 6am for work, I can at least peer out the window at Chicago to see what ridiculous gown is on display in the window. Some are ugly, some are huge, all are way extravagant. A tiny thing to look forward to on a dreaded ride to work.
10. My Second City Conservatory Class – Every week I am learn more on how funny and talented this rag tag group can be. Sure we are a forced ensemble, but seeing each one shine and laugh gets me excited for what our May graduation show will become. Violinists, singers, writers, accent speakers, artists… what will next pitch session bring? (May favorite things will most likely include “Graduation show.”)
Like or hate, the little things get us through every day. As long as we find humor in the shit and love in the like, I think we’ll all turn out just fine.
– One L
“I’m not a morning person. I’m not an night owl. I’m a sleeper.”
In the Sun with Alison 