A Definitive List Of Crushes I Have Had In My Life

It’s a new year! And usually we take this time to reflect on how far we’ve come and how much we’ve grown.

It’s a time where we start doing yoga until it gets boring and journaling until it also gets boring. It’s a time to chart a new path, start fresh, dispose of the old and make the world an oyster… or something.

In an effort to show that I am super good at meditating on my own past lives, (OMMMMMMM) I thought I would bring you a definitive list of:

Crushes I Have Had In My Life (in order as best as I can remember, and without any apologies)

ALL CAPS = IMPORTANT and please feel free to comment if I left anyone obvious out.

Let’s Begin:

1. J.T.T.
2. Prince Eric
3. Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen
4. Alvin from Alvin and the Chipmunks
5. Michelangelo from TMNT
6. Alan Richards – Kindergarten
7. Kermit The Frog
8. Aladdin… also Steve from Full House
9. Dale Dennibeck – 2^nd Grade
10. All the boys in the movie “Camp Nowhere.”
11. Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez
12. Logan from The Babysitters Club books
13. Matt Hergott – 3^rd Grade
14. BEN AFFLECK
15. Jack from Titanic (it was very important to me to differentiate that it was not Leonardo DiCaprio who I crushed on but the character Jack.)
16. David Eischeid, Brandon Jones, Alan Richards (again) – 5^th Grade
17. Nick Carter
18. Lance Bass
19. Will Smith
20. Scary Spice
21. Jeff Delaroy – 6^th Grade
22. Christian Bale in Newsies
23. Spot Collins
24. Justin Timberlake
25. EWAN MCGREGOR
26. Young Jimmy Stewart
27. Chandler Bing
28. Ferris Bueller
29. Freddie Prince Jr.
30. Paul Walker
31. Lenny from That Thing You Do
32. Josh Vela – 7^th Grade
33. Eminem
34. JIMMY FALLON
35. Chris Davis – 8^th Grade
36. Emilio Estevez in Breakfast Club
37. Emilio Estevez in The Mighty Ducks
38. Andrew McCarthy
39. Shane West
40. Matt Damon, eventually
41. Andy Hopping – 9^th Grade
42. That kid, Nick, from church
43. J.D. on Scrubs
44. Dave Grohl
45. Alan Mischler from Theater
46. Adam Sandler in The Wedding Singer
47. Joe Giordano – 10^th Grade
48. The cast of the Real World – Seattle
49. BRYCE, my high school sweetheart
50. Nathan Klotz – 11^th Grade
51. Hayden Christenson, whenever he wasn’t Anakin
52. Rachel Maddow
53. Paul Rudd
54. Matt Guidarelli – 12^th Grade
55. Young Paul McCartney
56. Daniel Radcliffe
57. That guy who was roommates with that other guy named “Munchie” in the dorms. – College
58. Kevin from comedy
59. Freddie Mercury
60. JIM STURGESS
61. Colin Farrell
62. Colin Firth
63. Taye Diggs
64. Brandon from comedy
65. Jack Sparrow
66. Ryan Reynolds
67. ZACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
68. Zac “What the F is Wrong” Efron
69. McNulty in The Wire
70. Steve Carell
71. Idris Elba
72. Jesse from Breaking Bad
73. Peter Dinklage
74. JEFF GOLDBLUM
75. And finally, our new kitty, Smalls

– One L

“It’s just, just, a little crush, crush…”

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