A Definitive List Of Crushes I Have Had In My Life

It’s a new year! And usually we take this time to reflect on how far we’ve come and how much we’ve grown.

It’s a time where we start doing yoga until it gets boring and journaling until it also gets boring. It’s a time to chart a new path, start fresh, dispose of the old and make the world an oyster… or something.

In an effort to show that I am super good at meditating on my own past lives, (OMMMMMMM) I thought I would bring you a definitive list of:

Crushes I Have Had In My Life (in order as best as I can remember, and without any apologies)

ALL CAPS = IMPORTANT and please feel free to comment if I left anyone obvious out.

Let’s Begin:

  1. J.T.T.
  2. Prince Eric
  3. Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen
  4. Alvin from Alvin and the Chipmunks
  5. Michelangelo from TMNT
  6. Alan Richards – Kindergarten
  7. Kermit The Frog
  8. Aladdin… also Steve from Full House
  9. Dale Dennibeck – 2nd Grade
  10. All the boys in the movie “Camp Nowhere.”
  11. Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez
  12. Logan from The Babysitters Club books
  13. Matt Hergott – 3rd Grade
  15. Jack from Titanic (it was very important to me to differentiate that it was not Leonardo DiCaprio who I crushed on but the character Jack.)
  16. David Eischeid, Brandon Jones, Alan Richards (again) – 5th Grade
  17. Nick Carter
  18. Lance Bass
  19. Will Smith
  20. Scary Spice
  21. Jeff Delaroy – 6th Grade
  22. Christian Bale in Newsies
  23. Spot Collins
  24. Justin Timberlake
  26. Young Jimmy Stewart
  27. Chandler Bing
  28. Ferris Bueller
  29. Freddie Prince Jr.
  30. Paul Walker
  31. Lenny from That Thing You Do
  32. Josh Vela – 7th Grade
  33. Eminem
  35. Chris Davis – 8th Grade
  36. Emilio Estevez in Breakfast Club
  37. Emilio Estevez in The Mighty Ducks
  38. Andrew McCarthy
  39. Shane West
  40. Matt Damon, eventually
  41. Andy Hopping – 9th Grade
  42. That kid, Nick, from church
  43. J.D. on Scrubs
  44. Dave Grohl
  45. Alan Mischler from Theater
  46. Adam Sandler in The Wedding Singer
  47. Joe Giordano – 10th Grade
  48. The cast of the Real World – Seattle
  49. BRYCE, my high school sweetheart
  50. Nathan Klotz – 11th Grade
  51. Hayden Christenson, whenever he wasn’t Anakin
  52. Rachel Maddow
  53. Paul Rudd
  54. Matt Guidarelli – 12th Grade
  55. Young Paul McCartney
  56. Daniel Radcliffe
  57. That guy who was roommates with that other guy named “Munchie” in the dorms. – College
  58. Kevin from comedy
  59. Freddie Mercury
  61. Colin Farrell
  62. Colin Firth
  63. Taye Diggs
  64. Brandon from comedy
  65. Jack Sparrow
  66. Ryan Reynolds
  67. ZACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  68. Zac “What the F is Wrong” Efron
  69. McNulty in The Wire
  70. Steve Carell
  71. Idris Elba
  72. Jesse from Breaking Bad
  73. Peter Dinklage
  75. And finally, our new kitty, Smalls

– One L

“It’s just, just, a little crush, crush…”


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